no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
