She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize