He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
