I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
