He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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