Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
