Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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