so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
