This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
