i'm signing you up for texting rehab
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
