Can i not drive my cunt home
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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