I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
