This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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