I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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