were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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