I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
