I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Alive.
So much puke
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
