now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
