I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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