we have pet lesbian snakes
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize