ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
