You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
