:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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