the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize