love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
