oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
