he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
