i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
