I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
