Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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