You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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