you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The ass gains better be worth it
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