I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
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