the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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