My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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