We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
