He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
