I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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