It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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