He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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