Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize