The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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