the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
