I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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