haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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