bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
