so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
