I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
