If i come over, it means nothing
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
