Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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