they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
