I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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