Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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