the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
