I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
