What did we do last night that was yellow?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
ttyl tear gas
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
