just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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