Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
