Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
