I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
