whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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