i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize