Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
