i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
