i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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