goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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