i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
