dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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