I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
