did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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