Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
