Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
