About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
