Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize